Latter Days
by Melissa2
Summary: Rommie's thoughts right after Star-Crossed. She reflects on the events of Star-Crossed and what her life would become because of them.


Disclaimer: Andromeda belongs to Tribune, not me. The lyrics are those of "Latter Days" by "Over The Rhine." They are also not mine. Nothing belongs to me so please don't sue!  
Spoilers: Star-Crossed and The Mathematics of Tears  
Timeline: Right after the events of Star-Crossed  
Author's Note: I wrote this right after Star-Crossed and totally forgot about until earlier today when I found it while trying to find where I saved Harper and the Orinian.  
  
  
  
What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be.  
Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy.  
And I use these words pretty loosely.  
There's so much more to life than words.  
  
  
Rommie's avatar stood before the observation deck window, staring out into the vast expanse of stars. All of her emotions had been transferred to her avatar. She felt nothing like her usual self. Part of her wished she had never met Gabriel, or that she had not fallen so deeply in love with him. He had left a hole inside of her. A hole that she didn't know how to fill again. The comfort she had found in Dylan's arms was gone, replaced by a coldness. She was a murderer and nothing could change that. Her heart felt the means did not justify the ends in this case. She wondered what he would say if he could read her mind now. She wasn't the Rommie that he had fallen in love with anymore.   
  
  
There is a me you would not recognize, dear. Call it the shadow of myself.  
And if the music starts before I get there dance without me. You dance so gracefully.  
I really think I'll be okay. They've taken their toll these latter days.  
  
  
'Where is he now?' she wondered. When her sister, Maggie, had died she had wondered the same thing. Did artificial intelligence completely cease to exist after it was destroyed? Or was there an afterlife, like the one that humans and other species expected to find themselves in? It made her feel a little bit better to think that Gabriel was in a place that the Balance of Judgment could not find him. His battle with his ship hadn't been an easy one. He had wanted it to end, to be free to make his own choices. If there was an artificial intelligence afterlife, she hoped she could join him again there. Maybe they still had the opportunity to spread knowledge like he had wanted to do someday...   
  
  
Nothin' like sleepin' on a bed of nails. Nothin' much here but our broken dreams.  
Ah, but baby if all else fails, nothin' is ever quite what it seems.  
And I'm dyin' inside to leave you with more than just cliches.  
  
  
Another question crossed her mind. Would she ever experience love again? Nothing in her life had been more intimate or intense than what she had with Gabriel. She would have given almost anything to feel that way again, but she was afraid of losing anyone else she loved. She had felt love towards another before Gabriel, but he was the first to return the feeling. He was the first that was not mortal. That would not slowly become less and less capable of functioning and eventually die. Tears began to well in her eyes again. Not for Gabriel or guilt towards what she had done for him, like the river of tears she had cried before had been. These tears were for the inevitable loss of her first and now only love, Dylan.   
  
  
There is a me you would not recognize, dear. Call it the shadow of myself.  
And if the music starts before I get there dance without me. You dance so gracefully.  
I really think I'll be okay. They've taken their toll these latter days.  
  
  
"Rommie?" Dylan's voice said from behind her at the doorway.   
  
'I was just thinking about you,' she thought, but found it difficult to speak.  
  
"Are you okay?" He walked from the doorway to her side.  
  
"I'll be okay," she said. "It just hurts right now."  
  
"It gets better, even though it does hurt sometimes. You'll smile again." He placed a hand on her shoulder and stared at the stars with her.  
  
A small smiled crossed her face then. 'That's one of the reasons I love you,' she thought, surprised for a moment that she actually admitted to herself that she loved him. Gabriel didn't feel like an ending in her life anymore. It felt more like a new beginning. 'I do love you, Dylan. And I will love again.'  
  
  
But tell them it's real. Tell them it's really real.  
I just don't have much left to say.  
They've taken their toll these latter days.  
They've taken their toll these latter days.  



End file.
